October 27, 2009
August 14, 2008
August 8, 2008
sigh.
it felt like i lost a friend.
a friend who used to be a boyfriend, a somebody closest person to me next to my family and bestfriends.
somehow, it felt like a
just this time.
it doesn.t hurt that badly. but it still hurts.
i am sorry for causing all the sleepless night, the 5kg lost of weight *wow, number 5, i freaking see you everywhere i go*, bruises on ur hand or head if there were any.
if only you realised it before i asked if this was what you really wanted, and if you will regret.
if only u gave it a deeper thought.
i guess we won.t be where we are now.
we prolly be back at how we were 2 yrs ago.
but i guess nobody ever learns to appreciate till they know what they.ve lost.
i learnt to appreciate, to change and to do my very best for this relationship. for the last few months when we were together, it felt like i was fighting alone, i was doing everything for myself, and not us.
was there even still a us back than?
laughoutloud, i guess you know the answer yourself.
what hurts the most is that.
why when i wanted it so freaking badly, you just quit on me. just-like-that. without even telling me why.
and why when all i want is for us to be friends, i am being accused of being cold-hearted for being able to let go of 20months in 1month.
i only did what was best for myself. regardless of what.ll happen in the future.
say if today, you were to tell me you had a new girlfriend, with where i am now, i think i won.t be so much affected by it?
but if i chose to hang on, i think i.ll prolly die hearing that news.
i made that decision not because of any other person.
its just simply because. i don.t think you.ve changed. and yes i know u did alot of things to try to gain my trust and everything back. but. i am just not willing to even try to work for it anymore.
i was happy to see that rose, never thought u.d give me one anymore. but. its just not the same.
i.m tired of getting hurt by the same person over and over again.
i don.t give a shit about what people would say. "if she can let go, it.d mean that you meant absolutely NOTHING to her!"
whether he meant something or nothing, i know myself, he.d know himself.
its just that when its over, even if somebody mean something to you, you.d do what.s best for yourself.
i wasn.t the one who chose our division and broke us apart, i tried to mend it, i tried waiting.
but the more i try, the harder i want to put everything back together, the longer i wait, it hurts me deeper and deeper.
the pain got so unbearable than i became totally numb at one point where nothing will ever make me sad anymore.
i still remember how that heart-breaking feeling felt.
nobody ever said letting go was easy. i never said i let go entirely. i just said i know what i want and i am still letting go.
&& i still believe that if its meant to be than it.ll be.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 12:30 AM 0 miLk boTTLe*
Labels: emo + everyday thing
August 4, 2008
but do you?
sighs.
&& yes, i want you 'boyfriend'.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 10:30 PM 0 miLk boTTLe*
Labels: emo + everyday thing
June 20, 2008
the last.
i can.t believe, your not gonna be part of it anymore.
now all the decision and choices i make, will only be me me and me and no more me and you.
its just. so. not fair. and i need way alot of geting used to to be done. long sigh*
did we just lose it all? just that like?
sighs. goodbye honeymoon in japan. goodbye studying in aussie together. goodbye broken promises and empty lies.
but if your love for me were to be a
this is just too much to bear. too much :(
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 2:45 AM 0 miLk boTTLe*
Labels: emo, emo + everyday thing
invisible.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 12:19 AM 0 miLk boTTLe*
Labels: emo
December 20, 2007
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 1:48 PM 1 miLk boTTLe*
Labels: everyday thing
December 11, 2007
you.ll sayang me back and wipe my tears away.
but i am glad its all over now and we are all lovey dovey again.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 12:52 AM 0 miLk boTTLe*
November 29, 2007
disappointed
so you are disappointed. big deal. as if i.m not. i can.t believe you hung up on me. oh well. it doesn.t matter anyway kan? i am NOT your girlfriend. so why even bother.
you know what.i seriously think that we are so not meant to be.
nothing i did was ever right in ur eyes. NOTHING at all.
so i guess this is goodbye.
you deserve someone better. someone other than me. someone that will never disappoint you.
yes. i know i am useless and hopeless.
sorry for hurting you.
sorry for everything. i guess it wasn.t enough.
i believe you are definitely better off without me.
have fun living without me.
i hate the fact that i still love you.
but i believe love isn.t supposed to be this way.
no you did not screw up. i did. it happens all the time anyways.
i know i am not good enough. i am sorry.
but you know what. i need my freedom too. and my friends.
maybe things changed. we just didn.t wanna accept it.
i am sorry it had to end this way.
maybe it is the best way out.
goodbye my love.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 1:34 AM 0 miLk boTTLe*
November 10, 2007
zomfgwthbbq xD
since my blog is dead. i have a not-so-brilliant-idea to do with this blog. i shall blog here whenever bitches messes with me/any of my dahlings. ;)
to you.
oh so lifeless fcuking pathetic childish bitch.
stop messing with people.s life and talking bullcockshit when u know nothing.
stop acting like you really love someone when actually u want another person.
just leave darling kiwi alone already.
good for you that ur friends are ditching you.
perhaps u should know the problem lies in you.
so stop blaming other people or pushing faults to them already.
you fcuking hit puberty ady. so please grow up. stop acting like a goddamn kiddo.
Posted by xiAnG♥ at 7:15 PM 0 miLk boTTLe*