Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts

June 20, 2008

the last.

my life had always always been about you.ryanfooshikai


i can.t believe, your not gonna be part of it anymore.


now all the decision and choices i make, will only be me me and me and no more me and you.


its just. so. not fair. and i need way alot of geting used to to be done. long sigh*


did we just lose it all? just that like?



sighs. goodbye honeymoon in japan. goodbye studying in aussie together. goodbye broken promises and empty lies.



but if your love for me were to be a lie, than i guess i.d rather not be in it.



this is just too much to bear. too much :(

invisible.

hello emo blog. :(

yes. i am damn chat emo now. thats why i am here. sighs.

why can.t you just tell me how your feeling instead.

why does things always have to end up this way.

1st-ly, since when the hell i didn.t let/like it when you go out with ur bff. hello? i am not brainless ok. i just don.t like it. when say we are fighting over something. and you just leave. just like that. and than when ur back. u tell me its bed time. well, i never liked dragging stuff overnight, and i believe in solving everysingledamnthing before bed.

well, yes, i admit i was abit weird last year. but i do learn from my mistakes. i fcuking appreciate everything you did.

2nd-ly, i BLOODY HELL NEVER insisted we be in the same classes. well, i don.t deny i wish we can be in same classes. but hey, if you didn.t wanted. i.d respect ur decision. its all about giving and taking in a relationship right?

well, i know we once fought over it. and i wanted to change classes immediately, but did you allow? no. you even showed me the "i was just joking about different classes thingy last night, and now i wan you to change class with me k" face and smile. urgh. i donno how to describe la. but if u recall. u.d know.

3rd-ly, well yes. i don.t like it when you go clubs. with xxx. but all the other times? i asked you to go with ur friends. even when ur asleep, your friends asked me to inform you, & i did.

4th-ly, i remember very damn well, on new years eve, i asked you super damn kao alot of times if u were sure u wanna go for the bbq thing with me instead of spending time with ur friends. you said. YES. cause u didn.t had the mood to go out at all cause you were sick. well, you were quite sick that night. but. sighs.

it doesn.t matter you know. seriously. if you wanted to go out with them. cause if i were you. i would wanna spend new yrs eve with my friends too. but if i get to choose i.d spend it with both my friends and boyf. sighs.

5th-ly, i remember asking you to join your friends during classes or break time. but you said its ok. if you want to you could.ve just went and sit with them la ok. its not like we talk non stop during class or when we are eating. URGH.

6th-ly, can you stop assuming how will i feel if you did this, or that, or that. and therefore do things you don.t like and keep everything to yourself. i just don.t understand it. why can.t you tell me what are you really really thinking about. :(

7th-ly, did you think everytime when i told you i wanted to drive alone i was joking? i asked you for a reason. because i simply know if you see too much of me and everything u.d go crazy. well, its you. but did you allow? nooooo. simply because you say i drive like a mad person and u duwan anything to happen to me. sighs

8th, why the hell am i doing this. well, maybe because i still love you too much to believe whats happening is true. well. i mean. i do accept half of it. but i don.t believe a single thing you said.

i just know. the real reason isn.t what you told me. thats all i know. sighs. :(
deep down inside, i still love you.

September 10, 2007

one year. . .

what does it even means.

i do not know anymore.
whats the point of going so far.

June 30, 2007

I want to go home n sleep n never wake up anymore. Can can. :)

if u can't accept me for who i m than thats just too bad. Heck. I m not gonna change. So just screw it. If things won't work out than it just never will.

oh. N i failed my stupid qti. Bah. Not bothered. Actually it doesn't really matter if i have a damn license or not kan? :)

someone please fetch me home from this place. I've been here since 10 plus.

so sick of EVERYTHING.

June 29, 2007

forever means nothing

as nothing last forever

June 28, 2007

runawAy

copied myob programme and tried to use it at home.. wtff.. first time can get correct answere de.. grr.. now keep getting wrong.. sighh.. i think i will just fail tmr.s assesment lar.. deng.. i almost cried in class just now.. damn stress.. :( i know i am a super crybaby la.. fuck..

sighs
maybe i should give up..

June 16, 2007

baby come back to me..


signed in to blogger.. but totally forgotten what i wanted to do.. stuped.. sighs.. baby.s phone kena rampas by his parent ady.. :( cuz of his report card results.. well~ i.ve been through days where i was super screwed up.. days where i thought love was everything and studies mean nothing..-.- yeah.. damn imature i know damn dumb.. but wtf la.. i was once naive.. daddy kept my phone ground me and wtv u can think of la.. yeah.. damn torturing lorr.. i even bought an maxis line.. for fcuks.. and find a old phone and use it at night.. rebel i was.. but damn.. i can.t live without my phone and the calls and chats.. he even took away my room phone.. but it didn.t made me study any harder or wtv also la.. so kinda pointless..


fell asleep while waiting for baby ytd.. useless gf.. yeah.. sorry baby.. feel bad that i can.t be by his side to cheer him up.. guess the scolding was terrible yesterday.. :( think i am damn emofied now.. nvm.. can go let it out on stupied driving later.. i hope..

waaaa.. i want my baby back.. :(